Couples sometimes decide to maintain an emotional and physical distance from each other, this is done for a couple of reasons. Prominent among these are the need to protect one’s self from being hurt or to prevent a further breakdown in the relationship. A couple who cannot because of emotional baggage engage in a civil conversation with each other can also decide to withdraw to avoid quarrels and bickering.

This is an extremely dangerous stage in the march towards a total breakdown in a relationship. It is human nature not to allow a vacuum exist, humans by default and most times unconsciously move to fill vacuums created around them. Keeping a physical or emotional distance from your spouse creates a dangerous vacuum. If you do not fill it, someone else will occupy the vacuum in your heart and your spouse’s as well.

The peace you enjoy by keep away from a cantankerous and petty spouse may be initially satisfying and deceptive, it may also seem like a solution to the issues in your relationship, this lasts only until

theirs or your physical and/or emotional vacuum is filled by the wrong person. The fate of your relationship then becomes completely dependent on the person who you or your spouse allow to come in.

The advise is simple, do let a vacuum exist between you and your partner, resolve issues quickly, sincerely and let go. Leaning on someone else other than your spouse for physical or emotional support is not a permanent solution, it is only postponing dooms day. Your distance may also push them to lean on someone else, what then happens is that you become two strangers under one roof, this is not sustainable, sooner or later one of you will muster enough courage to move on permanently.

Your breakup will come with the sad realization that you failed to nip a very manageable situation in the bud, you will carry this burden for a very long time, especially when you realize that the person for whom you left may not be in it for the long haul, you may also have been a temporary fix for their own issues or a passing object of excitement. Yours is yours, fix it and don’t let unnecessary issues cause a permanent dent – Sir Stanley Ekezie