When we meet that special person we pursue them, become passionate romantics, poets and sometimes fools in love. The relationship elevates both of you to cloud 9 and you bask in the euphoria of love and passion. You eventually say I do and settle into your new home with so much hope and expectation of happiness together.
Then life begins to happen, your job or business and the pressure to provide, kids come in quick succession, budgeting becomes a way of life and the things you used to take for granted starts looking like a mirage. Everything is fighting for your time at the same time and we start neglecting our relationship. Finding time for each other becomes difficult and you settle for that as the norm and take whatever life throws at you in your stride.
You are not alone, your marriage is not dead or in trouble, your spouse hasn’t changed or stopped loving you. The truth is, you are not young and single adults anymore, you have responsibilities to yourselves and the kids and these must be met. In the middle of all this, no matter how naturally romantic you are, romance in your marriage takes a major hit. 98% of married couples go through this, remaining a romantic which used to come naturally becomes a difficult task.
How does a man who is late on rent, loan repayment or the children’s fees find time to plan romantic gestures, how does a woman who has to work and constantly have worries about her kids being able to remain in school, properly accommodated, fed and taken to hospital when they are sick succumb to romantic gestures? When life happens through no fault of yours certain things change.
However, It is important to find time to do the little things you used to enjoy; eating out once in a while, surprising your spouse with a gift no matter how little and just staying in bed and talking deep into the night. Bringing her food in bed and doing chores to help out or preparing his favourite dish and serving him yourself.. These things strengthen your bond and energizes you for the struggle which still lies ahead.
Bear in mind that acts of romance may no longer come naturally because of the pressures of life, it requires a conscious effort. Do not put too much pressure on yourself financially for the sake of romance. Romance doesn’t have to be expensive, most times it is the little things and the thought that really counts – Sir Stanley Ekezie