I have engaged a lot of young men and women on the issue of love, relationship, sex, money and marriage, and I have concluded that indeed our society is in trouble. The relationship and marriage crisis which has seen a 500% increase over the past two decades is simply as a result of misplaced priorities. So much emphasis is placed on material wealth over emotional health, the result is a largely disillusioned married and single population unafraid to tell you how difficult married life.
In the first instance, many of these young men and women go into marriage prematurely, most of them do not understand the basic concept of marriage, for them, marriage is approached like ordinary relationships where everyone has an option to breakup at the slightest provocation. Focusing solely on material and carnal pleasures, many of them focus too much on the immediate material or carnal pleasures to pay attention to the true character of the person they have chosen to spend the rest of their lives, the result is two strangers cohabiting as husband and wife.
We now live in a society where men are dating women’s bodies and women are dating men’s pockets, The level of commitment required to make marriage work is therefore difficult to attain because of the reward system in place. Men have developed an insatiable lust for variety of women and have decided not to do the hard work of properly courting and convincing one woman to be with them, they have instead chosen to pay their way into the pants of many, women out of greed and laziness have diminished their self worth by agreeing to this arrangement. Relationships have therefore become mostly commercialized.
You must however remember, that any thing bought with money is subject to replacement when a better version or model becomes available, the tendency for a man who believes in paying his way into a woman’s drawers to want constant change and upgrade is very high. When you pay for a woman’s love and attention, be ready to sustain it for as long as that relationships lasts. If the money stops flowing, love will stop flowing. This is therefore a zombie generation in which Love, empathy and friendship have been sacrificed for the blind pursuit of money and carnal pleasures.
Do not misunderstand me, money is good, in fact very good, but when it is made or sought at the expense of a marriage, good committed relationships or friendships, the end will certainly not justify the means. When you engage any very wealthy person, they will tell you that when you finally arrive at the top of the ladder, you will realize how lonely it is up there because in your frenzy to succeed, you have sacrificed relationships with friends, loved ones and family.
Marriage simply means commitment, and commitment means that in spite of the fact that you can find someone, better looking, more affluent, better behaved etc, you have chosen to remain with this person against all odds. Commitment means realizing that no one is perfect, you have chosen to ignore your partner’s shortcomings and character flaws. If you are not ready for this level of commitment, marriage is not for you – Sir Stanley Ekezie