It is true that misery and unhappiness craves companionship, those who are unhappy always look for the slightest signs of unhappiness in others to leech on, so be careful who you complain to. Be cautious about the true relationship or marriage status of the person advising you especially with regards to your marriage or relationship, they cannot give what they don’t have. Some advices are borne out of the need to keep you in misery so that the adviser has a companion in their own misery.

Your relationship may be much better and happier than the person you ask for advise, it may not seem so on the surface, they may have just perfected the act of camouflaging their unhappiness with an outer semblance of peace and happiness. More often than not, this person will give you advise based on their bad experiences and negative perception of the opposite sex, influenced by whatever challenges they are going through, they will not be in the right frame of mind to offer any meaningful advise.

The mischievous ones, not wanting to be alone in their misery, may constantly fuel your own crisis so you can keep coming back to them. Misery is a very lonely place to be, but in your pursuit of happiness and peace in your relationship, turn to people who are happy in theirs and take advise from those who will do anything, including sacrificing and stooping to ensure that peace reigns in their home. If your adviser is a member of the opposite sex, watch out for signs of sexual attraction, their advise may be a selfish ploy to destroy your relationship and make you vulnerable enough for easy access.

If your conscience tells you that you are wrong, be mindful of that friend or family who insists you are right, be cautious when a friend tells you to leave your marriage and keeps encouraging you to confront and fight your spouse, their own spouse may be worst than yours in spite of what it seems on the outside. Take such advise with a pinch of salt, those who talk tough or write off an entire gender as being wicked or untrustworthy may be doing so because of their own experiences which may be far worse when compared to yours.

Finally, remember that pastors, counsellors, affluent and outwardly settled people have turbulent marriages too. Their status or profession does not make them immune to being negatively influenced by their own experiences. Their advise may be biased against your spouse if they are are not happy with theirs. It is natural to encourage others to engage in fights they themselves may not have the courage to start, so let your common sense and conscience guide you to make choices which are best for you. – Sir Stanley Ekezie