Sometimes letting go is the best option

It is possible to force a person to be with you, this can be achieved through emotional manipulation, providence or by instilling fear in them. What you cannot achieve is to make someone love you or care for you against their will, you can do everything right in a relationship, you can be loving, tolerant, forgiving, selfless and even ready to endure anything and your partner still wants to leave. Let them leave, it’s not your fault. It is unfair to you as a person to blame yourself for someone else’s actions which you can’t control.

A relationship is supposed to be about two people who are committed to providing emotional and physical comfort to each other, it takes two willing and committed adults to achieve this. However, there are situations when the burden to make the relationship work is left for one person to bear, while it is encouraged that whoever has the strength and courage should persevere in the ugly situation where a spouse is not responding positively, it is equally important to know when it has become clear that the other person either does not deserve your time and effort or they simply don’t want to be with you.

Attention, love and care comes naturally in a relationship, if you have to beg or sacrifice your own comfort, dignity and self esteem for an extended period of time, if your partner abuses you physically, verbally or emotionally, you may want to reconsider your position. If you are not getting an equal amount of the love, attention and sacrifice invested in a person, it is more of a duty than a relationship, you should at least be getting paid handsomely as a housekeeper for your time and effort, in the absence of this, you should consider going where you are wanted.

Everyone deserves love and care, that includes you. Engage your partner in a deep conversation about your expectations from them, make them see that you are loosing out on the attention and love you deserve, if they still cannot reciprocate your efforts, it is very safe to say that you are not wanted. Having said this, you are only entitled to this love and care if you sincerely love and care for your spouse. People have a natural radar which detects pretence and deceit, they will unconsciously reciprocate, not to what you want them to see but to your true intentions.

Finally, take a second more critical look at your relationship, sincerely evaluate the situation at home, if you know you have not been treating your spouse well in spite of their best efforts, change for good you may not find someone better if they leave. If you perceive that your spouse is not willing to stay and you have sincerely put in your best to ensure the relationship works, consider disengaging from them. You are entitled to happiness and peace especially if you have invested the same in your spouse – Sir Stanley Ekezie

One comment

  1. Many thanks.
    Please where does the spouse go when the scriptures forbids divorce or the spouse is financially incapable to manage especially if the children’s future is in jeopardy both emotionally and financially.

    Like

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