Conscience is built and reinforced around certain standards which have been in existence for centuries. These are called the laws of nature or the laws of the universe. The christian 10 commandments, our traditional African religion and various other religions unanimously agree and echo these rules which are designed to regulate our engagement with others to ensure synergy, peace and harmony. The laws explicit set a natural standard of right and wrong, always do that which you would want to be done for or to you.
In marriage and relationships the same rules apply, in spite of what you have heard or read from the thousands of authors, marriage counsellors and religious pundits, your conscience remains the best counsellor in marriage and in fact life in general. It is easy for someone who is not going through the same issues as you to come up with all sorts of permutations and suggestions, at the end of the day he who wears the shoes knows where it pinches. Always conscientiously examine issues and follow you mind.
What counsellors and co will do for you is to awaken that sense of conscience within you, their suggestions and positions are not cast in stone. Each marriage or relationship has its unique characteristics, it is impossible to design a common standard with which all marriages and relationships will be regulated. Whenever you read an article, digest it and juxtapose it with your own peculiar circumstance, if it fits and your conscience sincerely accepts it, you may have found a solution to your problems or at least a comforting realisation that you are not alone in that situation.
The best adviser you have is that still small voice in you which represents your conscience, it never ever lies. Whether you chose to listen to it or not, only you have that decision to make. My advise however is that no matter how difficult it is, listen to your conscience always and absorb the truth it usually bears, only then can you make decision which are in your best interest. A person is considered good when they listen and follow the dictates of their conscience. Those who ignore their conscience as a result of pride, ego, or self interest are the problems of humanity – Sir Stanley Ekezie