As the world evolves, our traditional value system is evaporating with it, the struggle and the desperation required to fuel our imported appetite for material things and vain life style has driven many people to walk the path waywardness and promiscuity. Consequently, trust and confidence in relationships has taken a back seat prominently replaced with paranoia and suspicion. Stereotypes have been created, entire genders have been written off even before venturing into marriage, thus creating a state of paranoia which has had a damning effect on relationships and marriages.
At a very young age many people, men and women, have been exposed to various levels of betrayals by loved ones and trusted close confidants. This has made it impossible for them to trust or have confidence in their partners. Going into marriages with this emotional or mental baggage accounts for a very high percentage of divorces and separations. The usual “I knew it, all men are dogs” or “all women are evil sluts” makes forgiveness and reconciliation difficult because guilt has already been established and people go into relationships expecting the worse. Making mistakes is a human vice, one blunder shouldn’t end a relationship, always give your partner the benefit of doubt.
Assuming that all men are dogs or all woman are evil sluts is misguided, being hurt by someone does not condemn their entire gender. There are still very good men and women out there and it is important we treat everyone fairly until they betray the trust reposed in them. Going into a relationship with a mindset that an entire gender cannot be trusted because of the activities on one person is a recipe for disaster. This mindset will make you cynical and overtly suspicious of the minutest moves your spouse makes, this creates a hostile living arrangement which if not checked will ultimately destroy the relationship.
Ensure you have adequate closure from your past relationship before venturing into a new one. If you are still carrying the hurt and disappointments from the past, it will make you paranoid and unable to trust your new partner, without some level of trust your effort to build a lasting relationship will be an effort in futility. You cannot punish or distrust your partner because of the actions of your former partner, it is unreasonable and very unfair. Go into every relationship with an open mind, each individual is different and must be given the opportunity to prove themselves positively or negatively – Sir Stanley Ekezie