Is divorce better than a bad marriage?

As a Christian and a member of the sacred order of Knights of St. Christopher who was born into a renowned Christian family, baptised in church, confirmed In church and properly wedded in church, it is extremely difficult for me to answer the question without appearing to question the principles of marriage as propagated by the Christian faith. The bible tells us that God hates divorce, he gave proven infidelity as the only reason why a man should divorce his wife. However, if we apply Gods instruction to man “husband love your wives, like Christ loves the church ….., and his principle of forgiveness which instructs us to turn the other cheek, it is obvious that divorce is not part of God’s plan for marriage.

I have always maintained that divorce or separation is bad, I am of the opinion that a couple should make very serious personal sacrifices to ensure their marriage works. I believe that divorce or separation is a personal choice which couples sometimes make in a hurry for very flimsy and often very selfish personal reasons. However I also agree that a person may be in a position where they are in real danger from being beaten to death. There is also a danger of complete emotional breakdown as a result of wicked manipulation or mental torture inflicted upon a person by a spouse.

In these circumstances, I completely agree that it is better to move away from a potentially destructive environment to save your life or preserve your emotional health. In these circumstances I agree that divorce or separation is better than being in certain marriages. I know that with this position I may appear at variance with my Christian faith which abhors divorce, but it also abhors attempted suicide. Being in certain relationships or marriage is like attempting suicide especially in cases where a spouse is exposed to the danger of emotional or physical abuse which can cause serious harm or even death.

He who wears the shoes knows where it pinches, we have been given the gift of free will to choose right from wrong, bad from evil, in our effort to sincerely exercise that right, we should be at peace with the choices we make. There are situations in which a person has given their best, done everything humanly possible to make a marriage work, yet their spouse remains committed to towing the path of destroying the marriage. In choosing to move away from such a relationship, I believe the person has made the best decision. Marriage is one of those things you can’t force on a person, it is either he/she is in or out, middle ground is not good enough.

There are circumstances also where the kids are exposed to an extreme level of unhappiness and rancour at home. By the actions of their parents, they are forced to take in on a daily basis, adult doses of anger, bitterness, violence, verbal abuse and sometimes wickedness, this makes the children intoxicated with negativity. In a situation like this and for the sake of the children whose right it is to grow up in a loving environment, separation or divorce is completely in order to preserve the child’s innocence and to ensure you do not unleash on the world, children whose minds have been permanently blackened by the wicked environment they have been forced to grown up in.

Being omnipresent, omniscience and omnipotent, God recognises that there must be divorce among his children, I am also certain that he doesn’t want anyone condemned to hell fire because they are divorced, especially in situations where they are forced to leave to preserve their sanity or save their lives. He loves us all and knows what is held in the deepest recess of our hearts, in situations where we must remain married he will intervene and change the heart of even the meanest spouse in our favour. He knows when we sincerely must move away from a dangerous and destructive relationship. I must however point out that it is unwise to presume upon the word of God, this is my own human understanding of the subject matter – Sir Stanley Ekezie

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