When she says no, she means no

When a woman says she is not ready, it doesn’t mean she is, when she says NO she actually means NO. Sometimes I wonder how NO and YES can be mistaken, they are not spelt or pronounced the same way. When she wants you, she will succumb to your demands and sometimes even do the chasing herself. If she trusts you enough to get behind closed doors with you, don’t assume that she has agreed to have sex with you, she may not be ready, she may just be getting comfortable with you. Don’t betray her trust by forcing yourself on her or drugging her to sleep with her against her will, it is RAPE and that is how cowards get to have sex.

When RAPE happens, a woman becomes broken because one low life betrayed her trusts and forced himself on her, it is more hurtful when she is blamed for either not dressing right or being where she shouldn’t. I want women who have been victims of rape to cheer up, you don’t have to be silent, come forward and help put the scoundrel who molested you behind bars.

You should be proud that you didn’t give it up willingly, the only way he could have you was by force. This means he wasn’t man enough to court you properly and convince you to give it up, this makes him a coward and a weak man. Deep inside he knows he hasn’t achieved anything, he lacks the confidence to approach you, he is beneath your level and he knows that you can never agree to sleep with him, trust me, deep inside he respects you for not giving it up willingly.

You owe it to yourself and others to come forward, there is nothing to be ashamed of, you are a victim of a serious crime. Keeping quiet encourages rapists to operate without fear. They are banking on your silence, and inability to speak up, it makes it easy for them to get away with the despicable act of RAPE.

The society is changing, the law protects you, if for nothing else, name and shame the man so that others can be careful. You must be emboldened by the fact that you will never be alone. There is a lot of NGOs committed to ensuring that you are protected and people don’t get away with RAPE. If you are close to a Rape victim please do not blame her, do not make excuses for the man. She has not committed any crime, she has only made the costly mistake of trusting an animal. Even if a woman goes to his house or goes around naked, she is not inviting anyone to rape her.

A man should have self control, that is the difference between humans and animals. We must encourage rape victims to speak up to prevent others from falling prey to their evil act. The time is now, let us clamour for government to include a sex offenders register in our laws and make it public so neighbourhoods will be alerted when a scoundrel moves close to them- Sir Stanley Ekezie

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