Lest we all die, let the woman exhale

Over the past couple of weeks we have witnessed among other unreported incidents, two celebrated cases of murder involving wives who brutally and so callously butchered their husbands in cold blood. Seeing the gory pictures of the incidents with hate and bitterness boldly written all over it, I can confidently conclude that this is a dangerous and callous expression of a suppressed anger and hatred which would have definitely spanned over a considerable duration of exposure to impunity, subjugation, humiliation and betrayal usually present in most African marriages.

There is no justification whatsoever for the brutal capitulation of another human being in the name of anger, jealousy or temporary insanity, but if the current trend of systematic suppression and subjugation of our women does not change, more men may become victims of this dangerous and worrisome trend.

As in other civilised nations of the world, Nigeria and indeed Africa as a whole must enact and implement laws that will seek to protect the women, laws which will instil confidence and a sense of belonging in the psyche of the African woman in an African marriage setting.

If we continue practicing our fore fathers’ system of marriage which encourages the silencing and subjugation of women with our new breed of wives who are educated, sophisticated and exposed to the new world, we will continue to raise an army of bitter and angry wives who may one day snap under the pressure of oppression and injustice.

The human mind is evolving, the moral limitations placed on our reasoning by the very high moral standards of the old order has suddenly evaporated leaving a dangerously lowered sense of right and wrong. Our dependence on preconceived sets of religious values have also given way to reasoning along scientific and very realistic ideals. Virtues and decency have taken flight from our marriages and has been replaced by a system of survival of the fittest.

The women are rediscovering themselves, emboldened by the many glass ceilings being constantly shattered by their compatriots at home and abroad. This new breed of wives can no longer be silenced, she can no longer be enslaved, her independence can no longer be taken away without repercussions, some of which may be fatal.

Let her exhale, a woman’s mind is an intricate web of emotions which is very vulnerable to bouts of insanity, maltreating and suppressing her may make her erupt like a dangerous volcano. Let her discover herself, give her the enabling environment to attain her full potential, let her take responsibility for her successes and her failures.

She has come of age and only an equal partnership in marriage will prevent her from being pushed over the edge of a melancholic breakdown, a likely consequence of her encapsulated feelings of bitterness, acrimony, jealousy, betrayal and humiliation, let her exhale and assert herself, it may be a matter of life and death for you.

As the world strives to enthrone democracy and freedom in almost every aspect of human endeavour, let this reflect in the way we run our homes. Let the man and Woman in a marriage be judged using the same set of rules, let the societal hypocrisy against the woman be replaced with equal accountability and responsibility for our actions while married. Lest we all die, let her exhale – Sir Stanley Ekezie

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