AIDING AND ABETTING A SEXLESS MARRIAGE Part 2
I did a piece last week where the focus was on the Woman and the role she plays in the subject matter, this second part will try to focus on the things that may make a woman loose interest in sex with her partner.
A woman’s sexuality is very simple and straightforward, Many men still do not understand it. Size and girth of the male organ, duration of intercourse, velocity of thrusts, pounding etc have all been touted as what truly makes sex an enjoyable experience for a woman.
While many women differ as to what works for them, I dare to say that unlike a man, a woman enjoys sex first in her heart, if satisfied, she makes whatever is available in size, girth stamina etc, into a truly beautiful experience.
Night after night many men punish their wives in the bedroom, ignorant of the fact that she may not be enjoying the experience, too selfish to actually find out what works for her, the proponents of the different theories of what makes a woman happy in bed go at it without recourse to or input from the women they seek to please.
Many women do not enjoy the experience, they are obliged to do it as a duty to their husbands, while they fantasise night after night about other men. Few will actually make those destructive fantasies a reality while the rest will wallow in need and self denial for the rest of their married lives.
Sexually, a woman is utterly and unbelievably deceptive, she can get you to believe that you are the world’s best stallion if it makes you happy or if it makes it easy for her to get what she wants from you. She has the capacity to endure the continuous terrible experience she is forced to accept and get you thinking that you are the best in the world.
So do not be deceived into thinking that because she screams and squirms during sex means she is in love or happy. Women are Nollywood superstars in the area of acting in the bedroom.
The entire sexual experience occurs in a woman’s mind, she fantasises about it before the physical experience, consequently, her state of mind is the key to getting her interested in sex. In order to be in sync with her sexual yearnings, her husband must ensure that she is truely happy, pampered, free from quarrels, jealousy and feelings of insecurity. She looses interest in sex if she is unhappy and may become frigid if not checked.
Contrary to popular opinion, jealousy does not make her love or appreciate you more, it only makes you a spoil of an ego war between two warring females. It is her pride more than love that makes her stay to ensure the strange woman does not win. In this situation you are living with a very dangerous enemy, one that will destroy you if you do not begin to make sincere amends. While in this state of mind, sex may be the last thing on her mind.
To get the best out of her sexually, dont subdue her, don’t verbally or physically abuse her, don’t ridicule her, don’t compare her to any other woman, even your mother; treat her well, respect her, show her that she is valued and let her feel without a doubt that she is a major recipient of your love and affection.
Remember that she is naturally monogamous and this won’t let her share you with any other woman. Once she gets the feeling that another woman is in the picture, she switches off from the inside, she may still offer her body to you, but deep inside she is not with you.
All you need to do to get her back in sync with you is to love and care for her, not just verbally, let her feel it – Sir Stanley Ekezie