A child is a divine gift and we are biblically charged to bring them up diligently showing them the right path always. We are assumed to have failed as parents when one or all of the children follow the wrong path. At a point in your married life most of your attention focuses on the children, the man struggles to provide food, shelter, clothes, education and emotional security, the woman helps in some cases with all of the above in addition to her traditional role of being the house keeper and the citadel of virtue and good behaviour. All our sacrifices will be in vain if we do not teach them the foundational lessons of love, compromise, tolerance and forgiveness.
Parents are expected to teach their children not only by talking and chastising, but by showing physical examples. The child must see you together, they must observe that you are united, you must love and punishment them as one, provide for them as one and celebrate with them as one. A child’s brain is an advanced learning computer, he does not only listen to the things you say, he watches your every move and how you resolve issues, if faced with the same issues in future, the child will most likely react in the same way he saw his parents resolve the issues. It is better to bring them up as separated or divorced parents than to sentence them to an unhappy home where oppression, wickedness, violence, subjugation, disrespect, foul language, irresponsibility and constant rancour reign supreme.
Therefore it is extremely important that we watch what we say or do in the presence of the children. The most valuable lesson parents will teach a child is love, this is the very foundation of the many lessons a child will learn and it forms the core of his being, this important lesson is a practical rather than a theoretical one. A child learns by watching not only how you relate with each other, but also how you treat people in general. Wickedness is not hereditary, children are as pure as angels at birth, it is the things we expose them to that shapes who they become.
If a child sees wickedness, violence, envy, avarice and selfishness growing up, there is a 99% chance that child will grow up imbibing these bad qualities and practice them as normal. A child’s first lesson on interpersonal skills is acquired from the parents, watching both of you closely a child learns how to relate with people in different situations. A child brought up in a household where the parents have mutual respect and enjoy a very close relationship will grow up being a confident, cheerful and friendly person.
On the other hand, a child who witnessed the abuse of any one of his/her parents will grow up bitter and confrontational. This child will lack self confidence, he will be unable to relate well with his peers. It is more than likely that a child raised in an unstable home will be a menace to his immediate society, lacking self esteem, it is almost certain that the child will acquire many vices early in life. This therefore makes it imperative that couples must treat each other with love and respect, if not for you, then do it for the children’s sake.
No child deserves to be born and be emotionally scarred for life as a result of the traumatic emotional abuse they are exposed to at home because of their parents failings. Maltreating your wife or even your husband exposes your children to many psychological problems. Maltreating your domestic staff, punishing them by beating and starvation is a crime not only against the staff, but more against your children because the lesson you your child will learn in the process is that of tyranny wickedness and oppression.
Some of these children will grow up thinking that wickedness and greed are perfectly in order, they will maltreat and disrespect anyone who crosses their part including their own spouses when they get married, they will teach this same lesson to their own children thus unleashing an endless chain of bad marriages. So next time you abuse your wife or abuse and disrespect your husband, anytime you maltreat your domestic staff or even the cashier at a supermarket in the presence of the children, you are sowing seeds of wickedness and oppression in your child’s heart, these seeds will germinate and you will definitely be a victim because a wicked heart does not appreciate anyone including parents – Sir Stanley Ekezie