A lot of marriages are at a place where the couple themselves have lost hope of survival, they have given up trying to make the marriage work. It seems like there is a constant barrage of problems attacking the marriage from all angles. Some are not necessarily fighting, but trying to coexist as peacefully as possible with no real relationship, they appear to be husband and wife to everyone else but themselves. it is time to stop living a lie.
The first step to solving a marital problem is acknowledging its presence, you can lie to everyone but yourself. He that is down is not afraid to fall, you have no option than to get up, lay a solid foundation of forgivenesses, tolerance and compassion and then rebuild your marriage. A relationship built on lies or entered into for the wrong reasons will naturally crumble because the foundation on which it stands is faulty.
It is wise to demolish something which stands on a shaky foundation, this gives you the opportunity to rebuild the foundation first, ensuring that this time it is solid before anything is built on it. In a relationship, you may hit rock bottom to rebuild a solid and lasting relationship. It happened to me, my wife and I came very close to separation, divorce, it was at that point that it dawned on both of us that we were travelling in the wrong direction.
We acknowledged our mistakes which was the first step to rebuilding our relationship. What we have managed to build on the new foundation may not be perfect, but it is certainly much better than where we were before we hit rock bottom. Listen to your conscience and let it guide you towards the right part.
So if you are at that point where things are not working as they should in your marriage, do not despair, or loose hope, be optimistic, take a critical look at your relationship, make a note of all the wrong decisions and actions you have taken in the relationship, make a concerted effort to address your part in the problem first, your spouse may be encouraged to follow.
Lay a solid foundation on which to rebuild you relationship, pride and prejudice should be replaced with commitment and determination to succeed, keeping malice replaced with communication and an open mind, judgement and condemnation must be replaced with understanding and correcting in love.
There is nothing out there, if you remarry a thousand times and do not correct some of the issues you have in your present relationship, you will make a full circle back to square one or hit zero in no time. I know it is very tempting sometimes to prove your point, you may be determined to teach your spouse a lesson or two, in the process you may over shoot your mark and get to that point of no return in the process of the destruction of your relationship.
So before the present crisis consumes your marriage, make a u-turn and head towards peace and reconciliation. You have nothing to loose and everything to gain by living in peace and harmony. Your husband may have become mean irresponsible and callous, your wife may be a nagging, bitter, cantankerous woman, it is still possible to have a complete turn around in your relationship. All you have to do is to look inwards accept responsibility for your part in the problem, tell yourself some hard truths and sincerely seek the path of peace, It is never too late to rebuild a relationship.
Almost every marriage passes through a very turbulent time, some go through it quickly. others linger a while longer in the crisis. Sometimes when things are falling apart, they may actually be falling into place, so be patient and persevere. In spite of the problems which seem to subdue you, one thing is for sure, if you persevere, if you are patient, tolerant, if you compromise and forgive, you will go through it with relative ease and come out stronger – Sir Stanley Ekezie