Love and respect, bought or earned 

What kind of father or husband are you? are you loved and respected for the man you are or for the material provisions you bring to the table? If your fail to provide will you still be loved and respected by your family?

These are questions all fathers should ask themselves. We often mistake the respect we enjoy for providing material things to mean love. How many men today sincerely believe that their wives love them for who they are, and will still cherish, love and honour them if things change for the worse, Do you sincerely believe that your children will relate with you in the same way without money? how many marriages will still be in place if the money suddenly becomes unavailable. 

Money like life itself is transient, no condition is permanent. Look around you, so many extremely wealthy men at one point or the other lost their wealth, while some recovered, others didn’t. Do not let money or power drive you too far from your family when they need you, oneday the tables will turn, it may be lack of money or ill health, but you will definitely need them to support and care for you; are you confident they will be there for you? I encourage you to invest your time and energy in the upbringing of your children because for every child who derails, the father bears a higher burden of guilt as the head of the family.

Being a father and husband is not just about providing material things, the depth of love and care your physical presence represents cannot be quantified, it is limitless and infinite. Your presence provides the much needed emotional and spiritual support which accounts for over 70% of what a child needs to grow up normally, the remaining 30% is shared between financial provision and the education the child receives in school. It is extremely important that you ensure that your spouse is happy and content, this will ensure she has the emotional and psychological stability required to nurture the seed of emotional and spiritual health you sow in your children.

Finally, as your children grow they watch your every move, what you do and what you say becomes an index of acceptable human behaviour. They learn more from you than they do from their mother because you represent their first exposure to authority. You will become the yardstick with which they evaluate every person they meet, endeavour to set the standards high enough to ensure they attract the right people. Do not let the parameters they use to evaluate people be below average, be careful what you say or do before them, their mind is like a learning computer, what they see and hear are recorded and will one day come to bare. Be a shinning example for them to emulate – Sir Stanley Ekezie 

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