Efficacy of the word “sorry”

Sorry is an English word usually used to express regret, remorse or penitence, it is also used as a humble expression of apology. This magic word has been known to melt the hearts of queens and kings, those who understand the power in the word and have mastered its use in conflict resolution have moved mountains, succeeded where others have failed and have excelled even in the most hostile environments.

The phrase “I am sorry” is one of the most commonly used verbal apologies, unfortunately the lack or absence of it in marital issues is responsible for a sizeable percentage of the problems that affect marriages and relationships today. The effectiveness of the application of this word is in the timing; one must know when he has done something wrong and must immediately apologize to douse the tension and prevent an escalation of the matter at hand. However when there is a delay in the application of “sorry” the offended party may develop an immunity to it thereby adversely affecting its effectiveness. This delay may also lead to doubts of its sincerity.

Some men find it extremely difficult to apologize to their wives/girlfriend when they do something wrong, they view apology as a sign of weakness and will rather apologise using gifts, sex, dinners etc. This is the reason why we have so many unresolved issues in marriage. Women have been known to continue in their marriage while bearing very deep rooted grudges for their husbands, grudges which would have been taken care of with the timely application of the word “sorry” It takes a real man to realize when he has done something wrong, it takes an even stronger one to apologize to his wife/girlfriend when he has erred.

Men who have mastered the efficacy of the word “sorry” and the phrase “l am sorry” have been known to get away with almost anything they do in their marriage/relationship, when a man says sorry to his wife, he is temporarily beneath her and she savours the victory and in the process will forgive him without dwelling on the offense. Saying sorry soothes the pain of the hurt and activates the healing process which will accelerate the process of forgiveness. If on the other hand you refuse to apologize, it breeds animosity which will build gradually and may even grow into hatred. The pain of the hurt coupled with the arrogance and insensitivity of refusing to apologize and your lack of care for her emotional well being will only make her resent you. This hatred and/or anger against you will grow over time and may threaten your marriage in future. Wise women get away with a lot more in their relationships because of their mastery of the word sorry. A woman apologizes even when she is not at fault, she has realized that the word sorry massages the ego of the man and will use it effectively to douse tension and maintain a peaceful atmosphere in her home. Women who have learnt the art of using the word will almost certainly enjoy a a peaceful relationship with her spouse..

Every human being has the propensity to forgive those who have offended them, it is however important that the apology is seen to be sincere and without pride or prejudice or being done in response to pressure from a third party. Sincerity of an unsolicited apology makes it easier for the offended to feel that the offender is truly remorseful for whatever they have done wrong. There are however traits which may hinder the use of the word sorry, these are pride, arrogance , stubbornness and ignorance. Whenever we let any of these negative dispositions slip into out lives, it blinds us to the importance and soothing effect of the word, this definitely and negatively affect the foundation of your relationship/marriage.

It is important that we learn to apologise when you know you have done something wrong, even when you are right and you feel a situation is escalating out of control, say sorry to soothe nerves and bring the situation under control, rather than make you loose respect, the person to whom you have apologized will recognize what you have done and will respect and cherish you for it – Sir Stanley Ekezie

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