Bringing out the best in her 

The way women approach relationships / marriage is totally different from the way we do, in an ideal situation, a woman needs to perceive without a doubt that she feels something for a man to whom she intends to marry. In her head it is a fairytale union, one in which she will live happily ever after with her partner. It is usually very difficult for a women in this state of euphoric love to imagine her husband or boyfriend not wanting her anymore or preferring someone else. This feeling of not being loved or appreciated enough accounts for a very high percentage of the problems marriage face today. There are however a few things which will help to reassure her that she is still the centre of your world, things that will make her feel beautiful, attractive, wanted and loved. These assurances and her acceptant of them, will ensure that you have a relatively easy ride on the bumpy road of matrimony.

A woman hates to compete for her boyfriend’s or husband’s attention, Your attention is expected to be on her 201% of the time. She hates to share so always make a concerted effort to ensure that you do not stare too much or flirt with other women. A woman knows that a man is visual, and will appreciate beauty, however, It is deeply offensive to a woman to see her spouse drooling over another woman, this is made worse if the other woman is physically different in any way. If she is prettier, uglier, taller, shorter, slimmer, fatter etc, anything whatsoever different from the way she looks signals your preference of the other woman. Women notice when you check out other women, no matter how discrete, smart or sly you think you are, she will definitely know when you take that lustful second look, she might not confront you or say anything, but will resent you for it. 

Women are overtly sensitive and will pick up even the most salient gestures or intentions, they will perceive any emotion from a mile away. While it is perfectly in order to appreciate or commend other women who excel in one way or another, you must be extremely careful to avoid over doing it. Praising other women gives your wife the impression you prefer the, yes that’s how a woman’s mind works, she will always think the most innocent comment about another woman’s achievements or virtues means you are comparing them to her and would rather be with them than her. A woman’s mind is an intricate web of emotions, prominent among them is jealousy, the last thing you want to do is get your wife jealous over your relationship with another woman however appropriate you think that relationship is. This will make her bitter and very quarrelsome.

Complimenting your wife regularly shows that you pay attention to her and still finds her attractive , unfortunately in these parts it is not very common among men. It is easy to think that your wife looks pretty in her new hair, new clothes etc, but getting around to actually saying it takes a little bit of work and getting used to. As a result of the macho man attitude most men adopt in marriage, they consider it a sign of weakness to openly compliment their wives, some feel that complimenting her will make her proud and arrogant. These are all false assumptions and half truths, the only thing you gain from complementing your wife is loyalty and her undivided attention. A woman usually always craves her husband’s attention, so it will be nice to notice even the slightest change in her appearance and compliment it. She definitely values your opinion and will greatly appreciate knowing the she has your attention long enough to notice the little things. Tell her she looks beautiful in her new clothes, compliment her meals, her hair and her choice of nail polish. 

It is normal to get too used to your wife and begin to see her as a sister, it happens to the best of us, you must however make the effort to show affection as often as possible. A woman wants to feel that you care, it’s not only by spoiling her with money and material things, complimenting her looks or pleasuring her in the bedroom, little acts of affection like a hug for no reason at all, giving her that occasional kiss and holding her hands in public, these things will make her feel loved and appreciated. Show her unmerited random acts of kindness, this means that you should surprise her with love and kindness even when you or her know she is undeserving of it, this appeals to her conscience and will bring out the best in her. 

Listen to her when she talks, you may think she is not making sense or her ideas are not smart enough, just pay attention to her because when you listen attentively, you demonstrate that you value her opinion and input and you may actually learn a thing or two. Sometimes in the midst of a woman’s rancorous chatter, she will deliver life changing advice and suggestions, in order to benefit from these, you must listen. When you listen, you also learn a lot about her, things she hates, things she loves, what she expects from you and a whole lot of insight into her mind. When a women gets comfortable and knows you are listening, she will bare her mind to you. 

More than you can ever imagine, your wife will endure hell because she wants the marriage to work, she wants to love you and be loved in return, she wants to trust you and expects to be trusted in return, she craves respects and commitment from you. Most of her confidence and self esteem is dependent on how much love and care you show her, how much she feels you desire her. The easiest was to control a woman is to love her, desire her and appreciate her. Once she feels comfortable, wanted, appreciated and loved, you will unlock the full potential of marital bliss in your marriage. It pays to make your wife feel beautiful – Sir Stanley Ekezie

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24 comments

  1. Stan Ekezie Ksc . Am standing on my feet for you.. Reading your posts makes my heart rejoice. May God bless the womb that bore you.

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  2. MASTERPIECE…..where are allllll the men…….No1 EXPO for a forever relationship. God bless you everyday Sir Stan.

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  3. I made a lots of mistakes inadvertently,Stan. Your post is revealing and bringing understanding. Am happy that these msg is for me. Tnx.

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  4. Yes it is imperative that a man should love his wife .However,my advice is to love her with caution,precision and your eyes wide open…not to love her foolishly by dumping or forgetting your residual sense of reasoning…”mumu husband” or “woman wrapper”….lol…A wife should be domestically in control but not totally in control…Bearing in mind that one day, she may change like a chameleon ….The rational expectation of changes in behaviour or character is expected of human beings….You never know…lol..This is simple practical psychology.

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  5. Ndubuisi Ekomaru I agree that people change, this change can either be for better or worse and there is nothing we can do to prevent this. However I personally believe that having it at the back of your head that your spouse will change is very dangerous to ones health, It’s like living on edge, constantly tensed up, watching and analysing every physical or verbal action for signs of change. Marriage is expected to last a life time, no one, man or woman should be expected to live like this for the rest of their lives. Let us Love like we live, no one knows for sure the time or hour of their death, yet in living we blot it out of our minds and enjoy life, we are only reminded of death when we are sick, involved in an accident or involved in any near death experience, when we heal we forget and go on living. We don’t go on worrying and waiting for the day we die, we know we will die one day, but we make plans way into the future, sometimes beyond the day of death. My advice is love unconditionally, blot out any negativity from your mind and treat any change on an ongoing basis, if he/she changes you address it, sort it out and go on loving and if she doesn’t you would have enjoy the peace that comes with living without tension, fear or doubt.

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  6. Thank you sir. I enjoy reading your article. Please can you write an article on men who doesn’t care about how they look. Not attractive to their wives not trying to improve on themselves . I like husband to put on jeans sneakers T-shirt looking young but his dress sense is zero. He is 53 and 40. Could it be a generational gap issues.

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