I went to the supermarket a few days ago, I ran into my daughter’s friend and what i saw made me wonder if we are not part of the problem our children have. I saw my daughters 15 year old friend with her mother, the little girl had human hair, heavy makeup on, I mean all the works, foundation, trimmed eye brows, long lashes, long nails and red lipstick, she had on a very short skirt and an iPhone 6 in hand, believe it or not she had a Gucci bag to compliment the dressing. This already big 15 year old was thus transformed into a young adult and could have easily passed for a 23 year old. This has to be another form of child abuse.
Shortly afterwards I heard shouting in one of the aisles and I moved to see what was going on, and behold this girls mother was screaming to high heavens at a young man, probably in his 30s who had cornered the 15 year old in an obvious attempt to get her number. the woman was screaming at this young man telling him that her daughter is only 15, calling him a pedophile and all other unprintable names.
I was surprised that she blamed the young man, when she was the one who put her daughter on display, she transformed this little girl into a 23 year old woman who had the looks of an available young woman but lacks the requisite intelligence required to ward off predators like the young man. The mother has also set a trap for men who will approach the little girl oblivious of her real age, it is possible also that this 15 year old may lie to the men about her real age with her mum inadvertently backing the lie by allowing her dress like an adult.
A father’s role is to protect all his children especially his daughters, it is your responsibility as a father to ensure that you hand over your daughter to her future husband as intact as you can manage to keep her. A woman may not know what drives men, but being a man yourself, you do, so it is up to you to ensure that you do not release your daughter to the dogs our there in the name of trend. This will be someone’s wife some day, for her and future husband’s benefit, we should endeavor to teach them modesty, simplicity and humility, essential virtues she will need to take to her matrimonial home.
This is a trend that has become so rampant these days, mothers are in hurry to transform their teenage daughters into young adults and the father are doing nothing to protect these little girls. It is bad enough that these kids are usually already fully endowed at a very young age. We should be careful what we expose them to, we should not rob them of their childhood by foisting on them adult adornments and toys.
I hear some women say they are friends with their daughters, in as much as I want to disagree with that notion because I believe good friendships are age appropriate, however, I will reluctantly agree because I don’t think effective control can can be achieved While in friends mode, I am probably just old fashioned. It may be possible to be friends with your teenage daughters, you must however know where to draw the line, unlike conventional friendships you must put aside the friendship and attempt to discipline them when they break rules.
Familiarity breeds contempt, so good luck with attempting to wield the big stick when you get stuck in the friend zone with the child. I don’t know how possible it is to be a good friend and a good mother at the same time, how can you control her when she misbehaves, how can you get the respect and fear required to put her in check when she wears what you wear and talks about what you talk about? There is a saying that if your teenage daughters love you, then you are not doing something right. They usually hate their mothers guts during their teenage years. It is their time to experiment with everything, some of them you will resist and this will definitely pitch you against them.
Proms and graduations can be exempted, this are special occasions and the child can be allowed to be an adult for a day, making it a habit or a way of life at a very young age is dangerous. They have enough time in future for all the makeup and human hair they can wear. What happens if by sheer bad luck you are unable to provide the human hair and Gucci bag tomorrow, have you not succeeded is setting that little girl up for a wayward life; once she gets used to these expensive things, she will definitely want them at all costs.
Ensure you don’t have vain conversations with or before your teenage daughters, discussing men, designer bags, shoes, fashion, human hair is not of any intellectual value to the child, occupy their minds with lessons from the holy scriptures, virtue, family, loving one another, helping the less privileged and the need to work hard to help others and also enjoy the good things in life.
Proverbs 22:6 says train up a child in the way he should go, and when he is old he will not depart from it. Fathers, pls be the wise moderators in your homes, a woman may be idealistic and a little carried away, always nudge her back to reality, resist any attempt to turn your teenage daughters into premature adults, it is your responsibility to protect them knowing what is out there – Sir Stanley Ekezie