Actions and consequences 

Most women cheat to get back at their husbands for serial adultery, lack of affection, lack of financial support, lack of sexual satisfaction or ignorance. There are also other motivations and reasons for cheating, prominent on the list are, material gain, sexual satisfaction and emotional support, poor upbringing among other things. The repercussions on a family is loud, profound and often permanent.

I may not be an authority in theology or spiritual matters, but I believe there is a relationship between a cheating wife and family misfortunes especially as it affects the children. I have observed that women who are rumored to be wayward will most likely have children who are either wayward or morally bankrupt, this is usually worse if she has daughters.

This may just be a mere coincidence, then again, who wants to find out the hard way. No man or even a woman will consent to his/her son marrying a girl whose mother is known or suspected to be wayward, except her father is well grounded and insists on bringing up the kids himself, those who go ahead to marry such a girl will most definitely use it to ridicule her in future with the famous “like mother like daughter” phrase.

I know some men are beasts and can drive a woman to a state of total mental and emotional collapse, I also understand the need for some women to get so drawn to cheating for comfort, I still believe that no reason is enough to drive a woman to gamble with the future of her children. The man who is often the target suffers only shame and a dented ego, the brunt of the repercussion is usually borne by the woman herself and especially her innocent children.

It is important for a woman to understand that Men who go after other people’s wives have very low self esteem, they see married women as easy and cheap targets, they take advantage of matrimonial problems or sometimes the easy access provided by the husband himself by way of “family friend”. Women must understand that a man who asks you out while you are married has absolutely no regards or respect for you, no matter what he says or does, he sees you as a cheap alternative with very low resistance, he will never trust you.

A man can say or promise anything when he wants to have sex, that better life he is offering is a mirage, he will get tired sooner or later and start disrespecting you as soon as he has his way with you, he knows you can’t complain to anyone so he does what he wants, you are most likely not the only woman he is cheating with. One thing is for sure, he is definitely going to tell someone, and that someone will tell another person, sooner or later you become an object of ridicule.

You may never even be aware that people know about your affairs, they will only discuss it behind your back. A man will go to great lengths to preserve his family while destroying yours because if you are caught, his wife will most likely never leave him, she will become more possessive and blame you for trying to destroy her home, your husband on the other hand will blame you and you will be disgraced out of your matrimonial home. Your lover will be too busy at home trying to appease his wife to even notice you. At this point you are totally alone.

A woman is the custodian of family values and virtue, she is the prized gem, if she gets compromised everything becomes tainted. In as much as My Christian beliefs won’t let me support separation or divorce, it may be more honorable for a woman to simply leave her husband if you must be with another man. This preserves her dignity and protects her against discrimination and stigma targeted at cheating wives.

Some women might argue that this is sexist since a man does not suffer the same fate if caught cheating, I totally agree, but it is the simple truth, our society is flawed and extremely partial on this. This may be because men stand with and support each other on this issue, some women will even make excuses in support of a cheating husband and lay the blame on a fellow woman. On the other hand, Women who are caught cheating suffer most in the hands of their fellow women.

Her holier than though friends will usually ostracise her from their circle as she becomes the subject of ridicule and gossip amongst them. It is a very partial and flawed society, it may not go down well with feminists and proponents of women liberation or equality, but it is the hard truth – Sir Stanley Ekezie

Advertisements

One comment

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s