Every man knows his responsibilities to his family, he is fully aware that the upkeep of his household naturally falls on his shoulders. Except he is irresponsible, he becomes. unhappy when he cannot live up to his responsibilities. As a souse/partner you are within your rights to demand that he provides, but the timing and manner of approach is extremely important. Asking or demanding for things he cannot provide can quickly degenerate into very serious problems, especially when you both know that he is not in a position to provide the things you want at that moment.

Making it look like you don’t need or want anything he cannot provide will relieve him of the desperation and pressure of making costly mistakes which might worsen his situation. You can fight and harass him for things you want when you are sure he has the means to provide them. Making unnecessary demands or complaining at the wrong time, especially during times of obvious lack can be viewed as a slight on the man. It is very important for a woman to know when and how to ask or complain about the things you lack or want.

If he had previously demonstrated his ability to willingly provide and you know he is working hard to change his situation, be patient, there is no need to remind him. Making demands he is sure you know he cannot provide makes it look like you are mocking him; your sacrifice to support him may therefore not be appreciated when he eventually recovers from his situation. He is your husband and you should know the limit of his capacity, keep this in mind always.

Many women claim to stand by their spouse during times of hardship, but what they actually do is to directly or indirectly complain and remind him of his situation. This cuts deep into the man’s heart and may adversely affect his physical and emotional health. The only way to sincerely stand by him and support him is to be understanding and sympathetic to his situation, pray for things to get better and endure the situation without making it obvious that you are in lack, want or need.

If you can stand in for him, do it willingly and happily without rubbing it in. Continue to give him the respect he deserves and always assure him of your presence and support no matter the situation. Many men die from the lack of understanding, disregard and pressure from their wives more than what they are actually going through. Widowhood is not a walk in the park, you will never know what that man you are taking for granted stands for until he is gone forever – Sir Stanley Ekezie