In a marriage or relationship, arguments are important to mutually beneficial decisions. If you get upset anytime your partner opposes your point of view, you have absolutely no respect or regards for them. As human beings are physically different, so is the perspective from which they view the world and issues around them. Opposition to your point of view does not transcend to disrespect or enmity.
Mutual respect is pivotal to marriages and relationships, it is important we respect not only the personality of our spouses and partners, but also their point of view on issues. Without judgement listen and digest their arguments, you might actually learn a thing or two. We all have our areas of strengths and weaknesses, these inform our opinion on issues. Decisions reached after disagreements are usually the more objective ones.
No human being has the monopoly of knowledge. Max Ehrmann in his 1927 poem Desiderata wrote “… speak your truth clearly and quietly and listen to others, even the dull and ignorant, they too have their stories….” No matter how foolish or shallow you think their argument is, listen to them and try to sell your own idea. Assuming you are wiser or more intelligent than your spouse is arrogant and foolish, it is a recipe for failure.
Except you are married to a compound fool, you will be opposed sometimes. Your spouse has enough vested interest in you and therefore has the right to stand against you when you are taking the wrong decisions. It is impossible for two people to agree on issues all the time. If your spouse agrees with you always, there is something wrong, either the person is daft, not being honest with you, or has lost interest in your shared welfare and prosperity.
The strength of your marriage is your unity in diversity, and reaching mutually beneficial decisions is the ability to put your ego aside and succumb to superior arguments. Having an issues based arguments is healthy and encouraged if verbal abuse and disrespect is left out of it. You can respectfully state your position without raising your voice or resorting to insults. Focus on the points rather than your perception of your spouse. Two heads are always better than one – Sir Stanley Ekezie