At this moment someone somewhere may be toying with the idea of getting a divorce or legal separation. It is important you pause for a moment and think before you proceed. Whatever your complain or grouse with your spouse, dialogue may be a better option. Focus on the things you love about your spouse, it may energise within you, the spirit of patience, tolerance and forgiveness. Not all divorcees are happy, if given a second chance some of them will opt for patience and perseverance. While some divorces are inevitable depending on your circumstance, others can be fixed to avoid regrets later.

No one is perfect, we all come with one fault or the other, tolerance, understanding and sacrifice is all it takes to make it work. Those who are happy will tell you for free, that just like gold passes through intense heat to be refined, they passed through difficulties to arrive at their current state of bliss, good things don’t come easy. Happiness in relationships is not free, it comes at a cost, you may have to give something to create an environment for peace and harmony. Whatever you are going through now, someone has gone through it and emerged happy at the end.

The key operating principle in a relationship is forgiveness, if your spouse has apologised and you are convinced that they are truly remorseful, the burden of conscience is on you to find it in your heart to forgive them. The healing forgiveness gives to a broken heart is more beneficial to you who has been offended, this gift is freely given, take advantage of it. Even divorce or separation cannot heal a broken heart without forgiveness, if you have truly and sincerely forgiven, where then lies the justification for divorce.

You may be tempted by the freedom from the shackles of marriage which divorce or separation deceitfully promises, bear in mind however, that no freedom is free, it usually comes at a cost. The question then becomes, what price are you willing to pay for this freedom ? Is your marriage worth sacrificing for the sake of your selfish lust for freedom. Take a moment to think about your children, your family, friends and the awkward position your divorce will put them in. If your life is not in danger, think again before you go ahead with the divorce – Sir Stanley Ekezie