I spoke to a lady whose marriage was threatened because of submission, I tired to encourage her to calm down and do what the man wants for peace sake. Her insistence on standing her ground and willingness to walk away from the marriage rather than submit shocked me. She repeatedly asked me what she should submit to and ended the conversation with NEVER. Well in this case I was able to convince her and get her to do what oga wants, I also spoke to the husband and the marriage has since been healed. I gave that conversation a lot of thought especially the part where she repeatedly said “what am I supposed to submit to”

I listened to a fine gentleman breakdown the word submission, in his analysis he opined that the word is broken into two, “sub” which means to substitute and “mission” which means vocation or calling. He went on to say that by asking a woman to submit, you are invariably asking her to substitute her mission with yours. I believe it is proper for a woman to submit to her husband, however, the pertinent question is “what is she submitting to?

Some of us go into relationships and marriages with the mindset of getting our wives to forcefully submit to us. While this is in line with our divine position as the head of the family, it is also inline with the provisions of marriage according to Christian ethos to give her a laudable mission to submit to. Women are asked to submit to their husband as they will submit to the Almighty God, considering Gods position, antecedents and what HE stands for, it becomes easy and a thing of pride to totally submit to him without question. The conclusion is that God has earned our respect because of who HE is and what he represents.

A man who assumes a Christlike approach in his position as a provider, protector, and spiritual head of the family, a man who is compassionate, kind and generous, a man with vision seen by his spouse to be dedicated to the general good and progress of his family won’t have to demand submission, it will come naturally. If we are to get submission from our wives like they do to God, we must try and emulate some qualities of God, this includes, unconditional love for wife and family, fidelity, kindness, ever forgiving and providence. Falling short of these means we are underserving of her submission.

Women are not fools, a woman who sees her husband doing some of the things mentioned above will respond with respect, except of course the congenitally bad women. A woman will not submit to mediocrity, bad behaviour or wickedness. If you look closely at families where submission is a problem, you will notice that the man must have done something to lose the love and respect his wife has for him, the exception again is if the woman is a natural troublemaker. The few times my wife had challenged me in the past, I know I deserved it because I did somethings to betray her trust in me and in the process lost her respect. Women only contest the leadership of a man for whom they no longer respect. The question every man should ask himself is, “if you are a woman, will you willingly submit to a man like you or encourage your sister or daughter to submit to your kind”

Being reciprocal, respect is one of the easiest things that can be rebuilt in a relationship, it may take time, but by respecting her, respecting yourself and your divine position as the head of the family and by trying your best to be Christlike in leadership, it will surely happen and with it comes willing submission – Sir Stanley Ekezie