Each time a rape victim, alleged or proven speaks up, I get extremely irritated by the line of argument some people put forward. The length of time it takes a victim to speak up, what she was wearing, what she went to do in the hotel or his house should not be an issue, her well being and the trauma she may have endured should be the focus here. How can we encourage rape victims to speak up when we have indirectly gagged them and silenced them to bear their cross alone. Sexual predators will continue to get away with this heinous crime if we do not change our attitude from blame to sympathy.
The way a woman dresses, walks or behaves does not make her culpable, the fact that she goes to a man’s house is not an invitation for rape. An incident of rape weather perpetrated by a man or woman is simply a failure of self control in the part of the rapist. We are not dogs or goats, It is not ok to simply jump on a woman because she is dressed provocatively or she trusts you enough to be alone in a room with you. Succumbing to seduction by whatever means is weakness, forcing a woman against her wish however feeble is a display of an untamed animal’s tendencies, whoever does this belongs in a zoo.
Rapist exploit the flaw in our way of reasoning, encouraged by the fact that the victims are too afraid of being crucified in the court of public opinion. A young woman is alleged to have gone through something like this and people are concerned with what she was wearing, why she didn’t shout, why she hasn’t said anything for this long. How insensitive can a people be? Shouldn’t we all be agitating for an investigation at the very least. I personally believe that there is no smoke without fire, it takes a lot of courage for someone to come forward and publicly accuse a Pastor of something like this. “Touch not my anointed and do them no harm” I am sure she is familiar with this verse and knows the consequences of lying against an authentic man of God. A criminal investigation should be carried out by law enforcement agents to determine the truth.
This is my opinion, I have watched the video over and over again, considering the clear and concise narrative and the Pastor’s antecedents, I am convinced that something happened. Names were mention, names of Pastors, ministers family members still alive. Whether it was consensual or forced, she was just 16, way below the age at which she can legally consent to sex. The poor girl must have been dealing with the trauma of being molested by a man she held in very high esteem, she had come to see the church as her family and didn’t want to be the reason a pastor is disgraced. I blame her family for not standing strong and speaking out earlier, even if she was too weak and too confused to say something, they should have taken it up. Whoever does this to my sister or my daughter will not go free, no matter who you are, I will take laws into my own hands and gladly face the consequences.
I stand boldly with Busola Dakolo, I applaud her courage, I hope this will encourage other victims of rape to come forward and expose their molesters, even if not for your sake, do it to prevent other women from suffering the same faith. Busola’s case is a clear evidence that being raped does not diminish your self-worth. Despite her ordeal she went on to marry a strong man, a hero by my own assessment, a fine gentleman determined to get justice for his wife and by extension everywoman who has either been raped or in danger of being raped. This will certainly serve as a deterrent to men who hide under different guides of authority to forcefully take advantage of women.
Parents should be more observant, engage your daughters and sons, yes, boys get raped too. Pay attention to sudden changes in attitude and withdrawal from everyone. Remind them regularly that it is not their fault when an adult touches them inappropriately or forces them to have sex. Encourage them to tell you once they notice a family friend, Uncle or Aunt being too nice and too touchy. Reduce sleep overs and holidays to family friends and family, especially in homes with little or no supervision. Statics show that girls and boys are more likely to be raped or molested by someone they trust and respect, someone they are comfortable with, a person they are too scared to expose. Do not vilify a rape victim, it is a selfish display of self righteousness and insensitivity- Sir Stanley Ekezie