It is erroneously assumed that there is a particular age at which one must get married, parents, guardians, friends and family therefore feel the need to mount an enormous amount of pressure on their children and wards to bring home a wife or husband. While this is in most cases done out of love and concern, care should be taken not to push your kids into something they are not prepared for. Marriage is not child’s play, it requires maturity, patience and above all mental and emotional preparedness. We must make sure that they are emotionally ready and have found someone suitable before going into it. Instead of the pressure, educate them on the things to consider before settling for anyone, it is your wisdom in this regard they need more than anything else.
Young women are the worst victims of this emotional blackmail, so many of them have been forced into marriages they ordinarily wouldn’t have agreed to go into. Hurrying into marriage makes it almost certain that the wrong choice will be made. The catastrophic consequences associated with choosing the wrong spouse cannot be over emphasised. So many men and women are suffering today as a result of this, some have even lost theirs lives to domestic violence, depression, high blood pressure and other diseases associated with the emotional torture that comes bad marriages. It is always better to be late than the late. A happily married child gives great pleasure to his/her parents.
Therefore parents should be mindful of mounting pressure on their children to bring back a wife or husband. Good men and women don’t grow on trees, there are monsters parading as potential husbands and wives out there, the chances of being deceived by one of them is increased a thousand fold when there is pressure from home. You children rely on you for emotional support and encouragement, putting pressure on them and comparing them with their peers who are married will only make them loose confidence, this will ultimately make them become emotionally needy and drive them into the waiting arms the wrong person. It is your duty to teach them not to accept less than they deserve, even it means waiting a bit longer for the right partner. What is worth doing is worth doing well.
If your pressure your children into marriage and they end up with the wrong spouse, they will hold you responsible and blame you for their misfortune, imagine the emotional you will experience. It is absolutely in order to remind your children when you think it’s time for them to settle down and start a family, the manner in which this is done makes the whole difference. The message should be subtle and loving, cajoling and trying to blackmail them by cutting them off financially or constantly pointing out their peers who are married and/or making snide comments about their single status will put pressure on them and may make them rush into an unsavoury marriage.
I have a son and three daughters who I can give an arm and a leg for, I will die from heartbreak if anyone of them is condemned to a life of emotional and physical abuse due to a bad marriage which I contributed to by putting pressure on them to marry at a particular time. I cannot go through the rigours of finding the huge resources. time. love and care required to train my children only to condemn them to a life of misery just to be a father inlaw. I’d rather they remain single and alive than to endure a bad marriage.
While children are advised to obey and honour their parents at all times, it is equally important to note that marriage is an individual race, if you make your choice because of pressure from home, you will bear the consequences alone. if you know you are not ready to commit to marriage or you haven’t found someone who can make you happy, I advise you respectfully inform your parents and take your time until you are ready or have found someone suitable. You must bear in mind however that marrying early or late does not guarantee a good marriage, therefore it is pertinent that you choose wisely, using parameters like friendship, mutual respect and most importantly, a man or woman who has a conscience and the fear of God in them – Sir Stanley Ekezie