Infidelity is considered more of a male vice because in a marriage, men are more likely to cheat. Ingloriously ignored by the society, men usually have a sense of entitlement about cheating. Some men cheat because of an emotional deficit at home, they step out in search of the love and respect they are not getting from their spouse. Others cheat because of an acquired bad behaviour or bad upbringing validated and encouraged by our immediate society. Others cheat just because they can do so with little or no consequences.
Ego is the core of a man’s being, if as a wife you are not massaging his ego, you husband becomes an easy prey for women who know how to praise and respect a man. A man naturally gravitates towards an environment where he is king, women who understand this prepare kingdoms for their men, do not let another woman be the queen in a kingdom prepared for your husband outside the matrimonial home. Respect him in an obvious way, make him believe he is the reason you are happy, celebrate him always.
Men are cowards and cannot survive for long in a loveless and hostile environment. Do not make the home uncomfortable and hostile. Be patient, avoid arguments, and quarrels as much as you can, endure and ignore unnecessary issues, the timing of any complain if necessary is very important, watch and know when to bring issues up. Make the house into a heaven of peace for him, a place he escapes to when he is unhappy and stressed. A happy place where he reenergises himself everyday. Do this and he will return no matter where he goes.
It is a woman’s place to remind her husband of things to be done in the house, bills, repairs, the children’s needs etc. Sometimes these reminders cross the threshold into nagging without the woman knowing. As much as possible avoid nagging when raising these issues. The timing of these requests is also very essential, watch his mood and only bring issues up when he is happy. A smart woman knows when her husband has money no matter how he tries to hide it. Be smart and be vigilant, direct the children to speak for themselves sometimes, it remove the tag of “spender in Chief” from you. Never ever ask him for what you know he cannot provide for you at the moment, it will appear like you are mocking him, this breeds acrimony
Find out his interests and things he is passionate about, force him to spend some money on them, show interest in his hobbies and be his wingman. When a man is interested in something, he is like a child, so research his interests and discuss it with him knowledgeably. This will make your time together more special and he will hang around you a bit more. Sometimes men escape from home to freely discuss their interest with like minds, be that person and he will be home more. Don’t be his wife all the time, be his friend sometimes, someone he can tell anything without being judged. Know when to be a wife and when to be his friend.
At every opportunity drain him sexually, come up with antics to seduce him and keep him on top of you more frequently. Bug him for sex, he is not saving it for anyone. Look after yourself and try to look beautiful and sexy always. Don’t let the rigours of childbirth and raising children steal your attention from him. The kids will grow, move out and leave both of you. Lay a good communication foundation for the future. Don’t look smart and beautiful outside and haggard and unkept at home, wear simple but sexy clothes even at home, men are visual creatures, dress for his pleasure.
If you find out your husband is cheating never ever confront the girl, it only confirms her as a rival and emboldens her to stand up to you. Your husband is not a child, he is usually the adult in the relationship and should be responsible for their mistake. Men are emotionally weak, they protect the weaker party always, be careful and know where your husband is emotionally before you attack. A man’s attention span is usually short, let it burn out. The more you fight her the more appealing she is to him, yes, men are like children, they want what they can’t have.
Finally, if you catch him, calmly let him know and demand an explanation. Resist any attempt to turn it into a quarrel or shouting match, that will be his move to get out of the uncomfortable position of defending himself. Play the victim and not the aggressor, make him promise to behave. Do your own little bit to ensure you are not pushing him away and into temptation. If for nothing else, your conscience will vindicate you. – Sir Stanley Ekezie