Lying to date 

Man meets woman, from the look of things and from the way he has packaged himself he appears rich and comfortable. He has a good car, nice house and dresses very well. He talks big too, makes too many promises of taking care if you. Considering these and all the other aspects of her specification she agrees to go out with him, few dates down the line a relationship evolves. Fast forward to few weeks into the relationship, she has major financial issues, maybe house rent, broken down vehicle, health issues, family need etc. She mentions it to her new boyfriend and expects that what she needs is nothing compared to his house, his cars etc. He promises to help her sort out her issues in a few days. He suddenly starts acting strange, not picking her calls or responding to messages on time , then he stops responding. She is hurt and heartbroken, a relationship ends. 

This is a scenario that plays out almost on a daily basis, at the moment I have received more than 75 messages bordering on this same problem. Men suddenly cutting off communications with previously loved girlfriends because she asked for money or other material things. The problem here is that some men are guarded when it comes to their finances. What most women don’t know is that no matter how successful a man is, there will be a time when he will not have the supposed little amounts to spend. It may be as a result of issues in business, cash flow problems or convenience. With most women, not having money is not the main problem, it is the assumption of having and the reason for not giving that constitutes the problem. Many women will assume that you have it, and not spending on them is mean, stingy or don’t love them enough. The bitter truth is that he may not have it to give even if his life depends on it.

You certainly cannot blame her for asking, she is probably responding to the things you said to her during courtship, your promises, lies, boastfulness and show of affluence maybe the reason why she is comfortable to ask with the assumption that what she needs is nothing to you. So she is not greedy or materialistic, if she does not ask you, who will she ask? Instead of avoiding her calls or lying endlessly tell her the truth, tell her how things are and promise to help when things improve and remember to keep your word when the time comes. If she still insists or leaves after you have opened up to her, she had no feelings for you, let her go, love is one of those things you cannot buy. 

A mans unwillingness to be open and honest about his financial situation is probably the most common cause of these breakups. Men have to understand that in as much as a woman may be very demanding and high maintenance, she is also very understanding and able to stay with you no matter the situation as long as you are open and honest about your finances. Even the most materialistic woman will wait patiently for things to improves if she has feelings for you and is aware of your issues, the worst she can do is get it from somewhere or someone else, but she can never leave you for not having money except she feels nothing for you. The only reason she will break up with you is if she believes you have it but do not spend on her for whatever reason. For most women if you have and don’t give, then you don’t love her enough. 

The sad thing is that people take these lies told during courtship into marriage. Everyday women are discovering that their husbands lied about his finances, age and other very serious things during courtship, this breeds resentment and lack of trust as the woman feels tricked into marriage. Once you have made up your mind to marry a woman, and you have not been completely honest, you must try and find a way to correct all the lies and wrong impressions before you propose, she is going to make demands and plan based on what you have told her or the impression you have given her. It is better she goes into it knowing exactly who you are and what you have. No lie can be sustained indefinitely especially about money, it is either you have it or you don’t. 

Don’t claim what you don’t have, she will definitely live based on her perception of you. Failure to give makes you out to be a mean and stingy man, these are not sexy attributes and will make her disrespect and disregard you. Go ahead and explain things to her if she doesn’t understand let her go, you can’t fight two demons at the same time, a combination of lack of money and a partner who nags about money is a recipe for health disasters – Sir Stanley Ekezie
http://www.relationshipbluesandbliss.com

Advertisements

3 comments

  1. You have said it exactly as it is. This is a very common occurrence in our society today. An average girl out there has experienced this brutal form of heart break.

    Like

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s