Whenever I do an article like the one I just posted, some people still find a way to make it about gender struggle. The barrage of messages I received either accusing me of leaning towards one gender or not lashing out enough on another. They forget that these articles are meant to pass some prominent and sometimes salient messages, and to benefit from these massages, you must rid your mind of any form of gender bias. These outbursts from my male and female audience has made me wonder why someone in their right senses will agree to marry and live with an enemy, yes, that’s what the opposite sex becomes if you are married and involved in any gender related struggle within the confines of a marriage. Your spouse represents the gender you are openly attacking and your unguarded and frivolous outbursts may appear an indictment on them and will also be construed as an insult. It is appropriate to treat every case of gender misbehavior as an isolated individual case, it is unfair to judge an entire gender based on the misbehavior of a few, there are many good men and women out there.
We should be careful so that we do not corrupt the minds of our young men and women. There is a huge difference between gender equality agitation and the outright bitter condemnation of any gender by the opposite sex. Personally I support gender equality in the workplace, in politics and in business, but at home common sense must prevail, there is an already established hierarchy which is regimented by our Christian faith, and as Christians we are bound by belief and faith to comply. Loving your wife and submitting to your husband are not things you do at will, these things are backed by scriptures in the same bible which teaches you to pay your tithes and give first fruits offerings, the same bible that says fornication, adultery, avarice, greed and many more are sins, It is hypocritical to believe these and not believe and adhere to the instructions on a Christian marriage.
How can I be married to my wife and still believe all women are evil, I find this very disturbing. I believe people with a certain mindset have no business in the institution of marriage, any man who believes all women are evil has already failed even before going into the marriage no matter how you attempt to exempt your wife, she is still a woman and a prostitute by your own pronouncement. I get worried when I see a single girl who is so negatively opinionated about marriage, one who believes that men are evil and can’t be trusted and that every man is out to control her, this is the type of mindset that almost certainly guarantees that her marriage will fail. Girls with this mentality will go into marriage in attack mode against an imaginary enemy and in the process mess up an innocent young man’s life. A young man once told me that all woman are prostitutes and can’t be trusted, I simply told him good luck marrying a prostitute. What type of marriage do you think this young man will have, obviously one without regards or respect for his wife.
Marriage is not for everyone, it is not a prerequisite to go to heaven, or succeed in any field of endeavor, those who cannot conform should pls stay away and stop poisoning the minds of the younger generation with all the gender related trash talk out there. These children are listening and forming very wrong opinions about marriage based on the negativity out there. They may not be as unlucky as you are and may actually end up with someone deserving of their love, preserve their innocence and let them make their own choices.
The argument about which comes first, submission or love is foolish and childish. We run an independent race here on earth, no one’s sins will be connected to another’s. Death ends the marriage contract and everyone will face God individually. So do your own part and leave the next person to do theirs. You will be judged by what you did or didn’t do and not what your spouse did or failed to do. Those insist on submission before they love their wives and those who wait for love before submission should know that they are being disobedient. Disobedience is a sin against God, it’s either you obey or disobey, there is no middle ground. The fact that your spouse is disobeying God does not make it right, retaliating by either not loving or submitting is not against your spouse but God himself.
Someone asked recently that since the woman is answerable to the man in a marriage, who then is the man answerable to and who chastises him when he errs. The hierarchy is very simple, 1 Corinthians 11:3 – But I want you to realize that the head of every man is Christ, and the head of the woman is man, and the head of Christ is God. if God himself put man in the position of leadership, it means that man is answerable to God who has put him in charge, this is a huge burden on men, and some of us do not really understand this. Whenever a marriage is not going well or ends in separation or divorce, the blame is on the man irrespective of who or what caused the problem, a leader takes responsibility for his teams failure regardless of the reason. My Lord Bishop, Rt. Rev Cyril Okorocha PHD once told me that when a marriage breaks, the woman feels the hurt and the man feels the shame, this is so apt.
To make it easier for you, If you don’t love a woman enough to overlook her imperfections, if the love is based on looks, career, class carriage, sex, please don’t marry her, and if you don’t respect him enough to submit to him, if the respect is based on money, looks, position and if you still can’t respect and submit to him without these things, don’t marry him. A woman who doesn’t submit to the authority of her husband refuses to submit to God’s authority and has therefore sinned and a man who does not love his wife like Christ loves the church has also sinned, both have disobeyed God.
Marriage is for men who love unconditionally and women who submit unconditionally – Sir Stanley Ekezie