There is something inherently rewarding about forgiveness. It has an exhilarating tranquility which envelopes you when you sincerely and completely forgive someone who has wronged you. The euphoria becomes ten fold when the person forgiven is undeserving of it. Forgiveness plays a major role in the survival and strengthening of all human interpersonal relationship, platonic and romantic. As Christians, we are recipients of divine forgiveness on an ongoing basis. We are enjoined also to forgive those who offend us. The Bible lays emphasis on forgives when in our Lord’s Prayer, it ties our own forgiveness to our willingness to forgive those who have offended us.
Forgiveness is an essential component in a marriage because It is humanly impossible to live that close together and not get on each other’s nerves. It is the strength of the forgiving spirit we have that will determine the frequency and intensity of quarrels which must and will inevitably arise. Unforgivenes in marriage destroys the bond of friendship that may have existed between the couple. It is a dangerous trend that will ultimately destroy a marriage if allowed to linger. When you live with someone who has hurt you very deeply, they induce within you, a deep rooted anger, bitterness and resentment, this is like being exposed to a hazardous chemical on a regular basis. The intensity of your anger increases when you see those who have hurt seemingly happy and going about their business unperturbed, bear in mind that remorse and regret unlike unforgivenes are very temporary emotions, they dissipate very rapidly. When you refuse to forgive, you unleash on yourself a dangerous amount of stress which can seriously affect your health. It is advisable to forgive and unburden your mind for the sake of your physical and emotional health.
It is totally false to assume that forgiveness is given for the benefit of the person who has wronged you, the way you feel absolutely has no impact on the offender, the remorse they feel will be replaced within a short while with defiance and anger if you refuse to forgive them. Offenders usually feel entitled to forgiveness especially if they feel they have adequately atoned for their sins, they are most times oblivious of the depth of the trauma you may have felt as a result of their offense. Forgiveness is for your own benefit, it relieves you of hurt, anger and disappointment, three emotions which will negatively impact your health. Forgiveness is therapeutic, it activates the healing process from deep within you and releases the positive energy required to live a happy life.
During the course of your marriage, you will be faced with many situations which will require you to forgive your spouse. These situations may arise one too many times, it is however important that we realise that forgiving your partner regardless of how often they offend you will ensure that you live a stress free life. Take time out to reflect on these words, look deep within and find a reason to forgive for your own sake, your emotional and physical health are more important than bearing a grudge. Once you have bared your mind of all anger and acrimony, you will be shocked at how light you will feel, you will also realise how much the burden of an unforgiving spirit has weighed you down and denied you of your blessings. God hates unforgiveness, do not block your blessing by bearing a grudge, remember for you to hold someone down, you have to be down as well – Sir Stanley Ekezie