Work on it 

If there is a chance, no matter how slim you still want your marriage/relationship, work on it. There is no need to play to the gallery or seek anyone’s approval, there is absolutely no need to worry about what people think, the relationship is yours, if it is what you really want, like everything else in life, fight for it, nothing good comes easy. Threatening to leave or actually leaving, hoping the other party might beg you to stay or make moves towards reconciliation is risky. You do not have any idea what their state of mind is at the time, they may be dealing with something far too heavy than you think and consequently unable to make a rational decision. Just pause for a moment and think, if you feel there is any chance that you may still want the relationship or you maybe able to make it work, if you have any shred of doubt about leaving, no matter how little, don’t leave, give it some time and take it to God in prayer.

Most people who walk out of a relationship/marriage admit they will stay and work on it if given another chance, 74% blamed pride as the main reason why they did not work towards reconciliation. Pride delays reconciliation, it discourages sacrifice, it abhors apologies, Pride is a harbinger of serious relationship/marriage problems, just put it aside, then take another look at your relationship, you may begin to see an entirely different perspective which may change your mind. Sometimes one person wants things to work more than the other, this is totally normal, depending on individual circumstances, this may shift a few times during the course of the relationship. Sometimes it’s the man and sometimes it’s the woman, it doesn’t mean the other person doesn’t want it to work, they may just be in a very bad place at the time, the best you can do is to patiently hold down the forth until they come around. Recognise when it’s your turn to compromise, you may have to be the fool to be happy, you may have to make sacrifices a few times more than your partner, don’t worry, your appreciation will come one day.

Everything in a relationship is not about who is right and who is wrong, no one is going to give you a medal for standing your ground or stubbornly insisting on your right or wrong, let’s assume you win the argument or the fight, how much is it worth to you and at what cost has this victory been won, was it really worth destroying your relationship for. If at anytime the relationship made you happy, it can make you happy again, in order to achieve this, you must be willing to sacrifice for the sake of your happiness. You may have to apologise even when you have not done anything wrong. It doesn’t diminish who you are, it doesn’t earn you any disdain or disrespect, on the contrary, your partner knows when you have taken a fall for the relationship and secretly respects you for it.

Conscience is a cloak, we all have it, no matter how well we deceive others, somewhere deep inside, we know the truth. Fortunately as Christians we have been taught the virtues of seeking peace, patience and prayerful perseverance, these are the recipe for success and our succour in times of challenges – Sir Stanley Ekezie

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