There are people whose only happiness is to ensure that people under them never grow. These people are willing to give you everything except the opportunity to grow. Some of them are so greedy that they are ready to scrape the scrap from you to ensure you do not gather enough to stand on your own and maybe surpass their achievements one day. They are so sinister in their approach, they will destroy you before any one who picks interest in you and indicates their willingness to help you grow.

Sadly this condition knows no boundaries, wife, brother, sisters are all potential targets and victims. This person is extremely negative and will always be the first to celebrate or point out the bad side of everything. He celebrates other people’s bad news and rejoices over their misfortune. He often appears to be nice, usually the first to show affection publicly or extend a hand of friendship in times of need. Whatever he does for you must be announced to the world to portray him as a good and kindhearted person. He can be kind and very friendly as long as he doesn’t see you as an ambitious person who is working to grow.

The only way to maintain this relationship is to be Perpetually subservient and loyal to him. As long as you do not show any form of independence, he is willing to help you with the crumbs that fall off his table. This person must be convinced that you are beneath him and your survival depends on his benevolence. You must be a gossip and sycophantic follower to be around him, and to survive long term you must be an enemy to his enemies and friends. Sadly this attitude creeps into marriages too. Some men are dangerously averse to any kind of growth for their wives. Sadly, they believe that keeping her perpetually beneath them ensures she remains loyal

If you are in this type of toxic friendship/relationship, whether in business, friendship or marriage, you are your own problem, you don’t have to remain tied to this person, you are more valuable to him than he is to you. Trust me, the day you stop being relevant, he will not hesitate to cast you away. In order for you to remain close to this person, he sees potentials in you, he is feeding off your ability to get things done. You must assert yourself, be your own person, stand firm and liberate yourself mentally. If you have not benefitted anything tangible from him so far, trust me, you will not. The sooner you begin to plan your life without him the better for you.

To those suffering from mentee growth phobia, extinguishing someone else’s candle doesn’t make your’s shine brighter, the luminance of two or more candles will always be greater than one, so helping others light as many candles as possible will only provide more light around you. The true measure of wealth is the number of people you have mentored to stand on their own. Your insurance against permanent failure is human capital development, that person you have helped to climb may someday be the ladder you need to climb again if you slip. Invest on someone today, let your subordinates grow – Sir Stanley Ekezie