She wrote: I have been married to my husband for 21 years, we struggled and built a comfortable life together, we were happy in America raising our 4 wonderful children. Suddenly he decided he wanted to come to Nigeria and join politics, I protested at first but he convinced me, being a supportive wife, as always I supported and prayed for him. He left for Nigeria and joined politics, fortunately his party won and soon afterwards he was rewarded for his support and hard work with a political appointment. The money started flowing in and we were happy. However the happiness was short lived, with the money also came pain. My husband started coming to see us less frequently, claiming he was busy al the time. This prompted me to return to Nigeria with the kids hoping it was the distance that caused our problems. Coming back to Nigeria was the biggest mistake of my life. My once loving husband and father of my four wonderful children has been turned into a monster. He has become insensitive, flaunting his position and his women in front of me, he believes that money and his position can buy him anything he wants. We hardly see him and for the first time in 21 years my husband hits me at will. My first daughter intervened once, he slapped her, she ran away and is now back in the states. As I write this, I have concluded arrangements to return to America with the rest of the kids and then file for divorce there.
I tried to encourage this poor woman, but deep inside I knew her marriage was over, another family has been thorn apart as a result of money and power, something which was supposed to be a good thing for the family has destroyed it completely. I concluded that you cannot claim to know a man/woman very well until he/she has tasted money or power or both. How can a man be so transformed in 9 months? This got me wondering and asking.
Why do we let money come in between us and our families. Why do we suddenly start staying away from home the minute our pockets are lined with a few dollars. We make new friends, start staying out later than usual, we assume an autocratic stance and become incorrigible. Why does it seem like the woman/man at home is no longer good for us, we suddenly begin to find faults and complain about who she has always been. Why do we not use the money and position to upgrade and rebrand our spouse instead of replacing them.
Money and position have remained a damaging catalysts in most relationships/ marriage problems. A loving husband or wife suddenly becomes a monster when money, power or position is bestowed on them. What is it about money, power and position that turns us into impossible husbands and wives, what is it that makes us treat people around us with so much disdain, what is it that makes us believe we can no longer be approached, talked to or corrected when we are wrong.
Everything in life evolves, money, power, position, status, it can all change within a second. Power and position like every other thing in life is transient and should not be allowed to interfere in our relationship with friends, family and especially our spouse, they were there before your promotion and will be there after. What happens when the power or money is gone depends on how you have treated him/her when it was present. Money and position are supposed to be blessings to us and the family, they are supposed to create positive impacts on people around us. It is important we keep in mind that money and position does not mean happiness, it cannot buy good health, it cannot guarantee life and most importantly with or without money and power, the ultimate end remains six feet under and after that comes judgement. How well will you fare? – Sir Stanley Ekezie