Contrary to popular opinion, feminism is not a bad ideology, it is an ideology that seeks to promote the concept of gender equality, it encourages women to fight to take her rightful and befitting place in the society, to aspire alongside men to the very top of their careers. It seeks to bridge the gender divide which has subdued women from time. 

However, feminism as wrongly practiced today has no place in relationships and marriages. It has become a militant ideology that seeks to disorganise the spiritual and natural balance and composition of our family structure and therefore should be kept very faraway from the family environment. It poisons the minds of our young daughters, they go into marriage with a negative mindset of disobedience and confrontation, insisting unrelentingly on their fantastical opinions and the vain exposition of their own flawed understanding of feminism. While they ignorantly vow never to be under any man’s control, our young men are therefore mentally preparing for the battle of gender supremacy even before they say I do. When a girl is either too young or too immature to understand the true concept of feminism , the danger is that they over practice it and do not know where to draw the line. This has led to the very high number of divorce cases in our society today. It is important to note that the husband is not the intended target of feminism, regrettably most men have been made scapegoats and have become collateral damage in this misunderstood version of the feminist struggle.   

I have observed that the most prominent feminists have the most successful marriages, this is because unlike their students, they are wise and they clearly understand the limits of the concept, they have found ways to isolate and insulate their homes from the struggle. The American Singer Beyoncé Knowles is one of the most prominent advocates of feminism, but she has managed to stay focused on her career, shattering many glass ceilings and at the same time remaining steadfast in her marriage, much longer than most people who have wrongly copied and tried to practice her ideology. A while ago, a video of her kid sister fighting her husband on her behalf for a rumored infidelity went viral, the video shows Beyoncé very composed and calm, definitely not the fiery Sasha she is on stage. Despite the alleged crime committed by her husband, though totally condemnable, she has continued to enjoy her marriage and is pregnant for him at the moment. This is definitely not what she represents to her teeming fans. To them, she is a strong unapologetic feminist who will not take any nonsense from any man. Some of her songs eulogise the strong and independent woman who does not succumb to male domination. This is Sasha and not Beyoncé, the later is a very wise woman who has reached the very top of her career, she is a multimillionaire, a super star of international repute, yet despite the challenges she faced at home and disregarding that she is totally financially independent, can survive without her husband and beautiful enough to get almost any man of her choice, she is making her marriage work, she has not become proud and arrogant, if not she would have left her husband at the first sign of trouble. She is the proverb 31 woman, instead of destroying her home, she decided to build and keep it together. This is the real Beyoncé, a true feminist, a wife to her husband and a mother to their daughter. Like her there are so many other women worth emulating, women who have achieved excellence in their chosen careers, women who are celebrated worldwide and have at the same time maintained a stable and peaceful home. Those are the real Feminists. 

The true concept of feminism in my opinion seeks to develop a breed of strong, independent and successful women who strive to achieve excellence in all their endeavors including their marriages. It encourages women to aspire to the top in every environment, it teaches that though men and women are created equal, they are created different, each gender with its peculiar skills and strengths. None is more important than the other, it teaches that there are no gender limits to what every human being male or female can achieve. It seeks equal opportunities for all. 

Feminism does not encourage disobedience to your husband or neglect of your children. It doesn’t relieve you of your natural role as a mother and home builder, rather it mentally empowers you to be the best you can be in all these things and more – Sir Stanley Ekezie

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