FLAGS; Green or Red, act decisively

The face they say is not an index of the mind; a smile can conceal the most sinister intentions, and a frown does not necessarily mean an evil intention. Human beings are good at concealing their intentions, but not over a long period. When you stay close to someone for a while, little signs will slip through to warn you or encourage you; these are called red or green flags. Most of us choose to ignore these signs as a result of love, infatuation, lust, greed, or optimism that people can change.

From the day you meet someone, your close proximity to them gives you a rare opportunity to observe them closely. At the point of meeting someone new, love for yourself and safety, not the relationship must be prioritized. Never make excuses for any character flaws that come to bare. If you suspect something is not right, that is a red flag and must be investigated. Ignore the deliberate acts of affection designed to nudge you towards a desired direction. Focus rather on the spur-of-the-moment reactions and utterances. The way they react to strangers, family, and people they’ve known longer than you; you will be to them someday.

A lot of terrible things are happening these days; men and women have been killed, maimed, or brutalized emotionally and physically in the name of relationships. Most of these things may have been avoided if people yielded to that still small voice within them rather than being blinded by greed, lust, or a reformative mindset. Nothing bad happens without warning, there must be subtle or glaring signs, you just have to be vigilant to see them.

You must do your due diligence, be inquisitive, ask questions and open you ears, eyes and heart to analyze the answers you get. Someone somewhere knows the person you want to go into a relationship with; be curios, seek out information and act when something is fishy. If the person has no points of reference, please run for your life; in most cases, there may be a deliberate attempt to cover tracks.

The realities of our time have normalized online dating; it has become widely accepted, and frankly, many beautiful relationships have been started online. Unfortunately, some of these relationships started online will mark the brutal end of promising lives. To protect yourself, you must practice a very strict code of dating conduct. Be very weary of those who brandish money or sex on initial contact, their intention is most likely to invoke a sense of greed or lust which is mischeviously designed to erode your objective reasoning.

Do not take their word for it; insist on video calls, first meetings in public places in the company of a close friend or family, and always let your friends and family have the picture, phone number, and address of the person. It is also important that you let the person know that your family and friends have these details about them. This will act as a deterrent against evil intentions.

Finally, red flags can also appear in ongoing relationships or marriages; do not ignore them, apply the same dispassionate analysis of every situation. If the persons behaves strangely all of a sudden, tell someone and be very observant and alert. If there are signs of violence or actual violence, please leave immediately; one act of physical abuse may be a mistake, twice is worrying, thrice is a habit that won’t die. Men and women have been brutally murdered because they believed their spouse will change, or the beating was done out of love; some even justify it by believing they did something to deserve it. No beating is done out of love; it is demeaning and disrespectful to the victim and should not under any circumstances be tolerated. – Sir Stanley Ekezie