As a proponent of gender equality I am convinced that the push towards equality on all fronts is gaining grounds. The only hindrance to this all important paradigm shift is the woman herself. The struggle for gender equality cannot succeed with mere lip service, a commensurate amount of effort and change of reasoning must be applied to the struggle to send a strong signal to the men that they are indeed committed to their aspiration to equality.
I strongly believe that the only difference between a man and a woman is biology, each gender comes equipped with specific biological functions peculiar to them, all other differences have been thrust upon us by generations of patriarchal and matriarchal indoctrination. The age long phrase “what a man can do a woman can do better” is biologically false in all ramifications but true in all other areas.
In Africa and many third world countries, the challenges faced by women in their push for equality are self inflicted. Many women approach relationships, marriage and other engagements with men with a defeatist attitude, they are selfishly selective in the areas where they apply their struggle. If they are to be taken seriously, the struggle for gender equality, with the exception of specific biological functions should be all encompassing. Once the struggle is won at home, it will become easy to entrench in the larger society.
In relationships and marriages for instance, women in subsaharan Africa and other third world countries have already accepted that men are superior by leaving certain aspects of the family in control of the man. One of such aspects is finance and provision. It is true that he who pays the piper dictates the tune, you cannot leave financial provision to the man and expect to be taken seriously when you talk of equality. Women in these parts must expunge this mentality of entitlement of being catered for to one of being involved in financial provision on a sole or 50-50 basis.
The traction the struggle for gender equality is enjoying in the west is because the women have become involved in the financial planning and provision in the family. Even in social engagements with men, they insist on meeting the man half way in payment of bills. With the introduction of patrimony, paid maternity leave for men, divorce settlement for men married to affluent women, etc, they have tipped the balance in their favour and have by virtue of these proven that indeed they are sincere and serious with the struggle for gender equality, the results is clear and speaks for itself.
On this day of international women’s day, I encourage all women to take the bull by the horn and become involved across the board in family affairs. There must be a concerted effort to prove to the men that you have come of age and ready to push your struggle through to the finish line. You must put your money where your mouth is and relieve them of the only tool of manipulation left at their disposal, money. Rather than wait to be taken care of, work hard for your financial freedom and with it comes all other freedoms. Happy international women’s day to all our women – Sir Stanley Ekezie
Relationship blues and bliss 
“they have tipped the balance in their favour and have by virtue of these proven that indeed they are sincere and serious with the struggle for gender equality, the results is clear and speaks for itself.”
I’m almost lost for words at this claim. It seems you’re in some parallel universe or perhaps you’re smoking some really good stuff. Whatever the case, I think you’re grossly mistaken.
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Do you know that it is possible to put your opinion forward without being rude “… you are smoking some really good stuff..” is offensive and rude.
We are entitled to our opinion and I just put mine forward. You can put yours forward with a superior argument. I succumb to superior logical arguments.
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“… in the west … With the introduction of patrimony, paid maternity leave for men, divorce settlement for men married to affluent women, etc, they have tipped the balance in their favour and have by virtue of these proven that indeed they are sincere and serious with the struggle for gender equality, the results is clear and speaks for itself.”
Presuming you consider these to be arguments supporting your opinion, I will address them from the perspective of one in the USA (“the West”). Overall, I know of no evidence that women generally have lobbied for the items mentioned.
As to “the introduction of patrimony”, I have no idea what you mean. Patrimony is defined as “property inherited from one’s father or male ancestor”. First, there has been no law prohibiting ownership of property by women for a long time (over a hundred years?), and generally property in a marriage is jointly owned by the husband and wife. Also, as far as I’m aware, the distribution of property in the USA has been according to a person’s will, and, in the absence of a will, the property is inherited according to the laws of the state. In other words, there has been no shift towards men having a greater share of ownership of property.
“Paid maternity leave” in the USA is virtually non-existent with the only major change effective later this year when male Federal employees will get paid maternity leave.
“Divorce settlement for men married to affluent women” is something that I don’t think women desired, but something that had to be fought for by men, because the courts generally had the presumption that women would always be the one who would need alimony. There was, and still is, a general consensus that women are effectively victims when divorce occurs.
Overall, I consider your arguments to be weak and thus your opinion to be unworthy of serious consideration. On the other hand, I cannot prove much of what I have said either. I rather doubt you will change your mind. I hope that you will see the truth, sooner rather than later, and that you will not be significantly harmed in the process.
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Judging by your submission and the fact some of these legal milestones are even being discussed, it is clear that women in the US and other western counties are fairing better than their African counterparts in the area of gender equality. I have lived in USA, UK and Nigeria, I am speaking from a position of experience.
In African traditional laws do not recognise a woman’s inheritance of her fathers property, property is passed from the man to his male children. Only a very insignificant number of men mention their female children in their will. If the man dies intestate, the female children loose out completely.
I am aware that paid maternity leaves are in effect in the United Kingdom (see maternityaction.org.uk) and in California family rights act give the men most of the same maternity privileges, fathers get up to 12 weeks of paternity leave in the first year of a child’s life. I wonder why you insist that is is not in practice.
I have only written what I can prove, I am an open minded person, always willing to succumb to superior argument back by verifiable facts. Unfortunately your argument is based on sentiments and have no proven facts to back it up. I advise you carry out a little research
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Finally – Women have been responsible for paying spousal support since 1979, when the U.S. Supreme Court ruled in a landmark decision that alimony should be gender-neutral.
This may seem in favour if the men, but it shows that the woman in the west, especially in America are being considered equal partners in marriage.
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This will be my last response on the topic. I believe that I can provide facts sufficient to disprove enough of your claims to establish, at least in my mind, that the rest of your claims are likely equally questionable.
“I am aware that paid maternity leaves are in effect in the United Kingdom (see maternityaction.org.uk) and in California family rights act give the men most of the same maternity privileges, fathers get up to 12 weeks of paternity leave in the first year of a child’s life. I wonder why you insist that is is not in practice.
I have only written what I can prove, ….”
Having researched this further, UK PAID PATERNITY leave is 1 or 2 weeks maximum. (Maternity leave is much longer.) So, yes, there is paid paternity leave in the UK. Proven, but only at a bare minimum.
However, in California, men only get PAID leave for a maximum of 6 weeks (not 12) in a 12-month period. That one is not proven.
I understand that a few other states also provide some paid leave for fathers. I’m not going to research further. As it is, I have provided adequate reason to question the accuracy of your statements. I am unwilling to go to the effort of providing the links used. If you really care about the facts, you can verify them yourself.
Overall, much of the paternity leave information was new to me, so I have learned something in the process. But overall, I still disagree with most of the premises you for your argument.
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This only confirms that most of your claims in your first response, were hasty and ill informed. At least we both agree that in the west something is being done as opposed to most of the third world where some of the things discussed above are unheard of.
The purpose of the article is to point out that there is a paradigm shift in the west. Some of these issues are being discussed and implemented, it may not have gotten to an equal level yet, but it’s a good start.
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