A lot of people are going through difficult times in their marriages. From a distance they see what others have and wish they have the same. You must understand that people show you what they want you to see, there is no perfect relationship or marriage, what you see and consider an ideal marriage may have gone through or is still going through a difficult patch just like you are experiencing now. It is good to want what is good for yourself, but if you don’t know the story don’t envy the glory.
Someone somewhere is in the process of giving up, please don’t stop trying to make it work, you are not alone. The other marriages you think are perfect have serious issues too, it only takes one partner who is willing to persevere and make more sacrifices to have a happy home. There is light at the end of the tunnel, don’t despair, hold on to God and it shall be well with you.
I have been mistaken for a saint because of the articles I write. I am not a saint or anywhere near being one, my marriage is what it is today because I put in a lot of work into it. I make sacrifices everyday, some of which my friends and family may not approve of if they know. Marriage is for you and your spouse alone, the beginning of failure is discussing the sacrifices or the concessions you make with a third party.
The hearts of men is wicked and devious, one word to the wrong person and things that didn’t mean anything to you will become a big deal. The seed of discord is very tiny, but once it’s sown, it grows into a monster which will potentially destroy your relationship. Don’t let anyone sow the seed of discord in your marriage, so do not slander or denigrate your spouse to a third party, it only makes you vulnerable to evil manipulation.
For all the women who have gotten less than they bargained for in marriage, Just hang in there, age does wonders to men, as we age most of us begin to be more matured and realistic in our relationships, we start to pay more attention to the things that really matter. Be as patient as you can be and guard your relationship, ignore unnecessary confrontations when necessary and resist the temptation to view issues in your marriage as competitions which must be won.
Have faith and hold unto God, With time things will turn around. You have to find a way to remain resolute in your pursuit of happiness, it is your right to be happy. You also have to be of sound mind, body and spirit to enjoy the turn around when the time comes. So do the things that make you happy often.
For the men who have had to deal with a bad marriage, be strong. It is ok to make sacrifices or concede what many people may think is too much to keep your home intact. Don’t mind what your friends think, don’t bother when they call your a fool for letting your wife get away with so much, it is the end that justifies the means, no sacrifice is too much to keep your home together. As long as you love her and still want your marriage to work, keep doing everything possible to make it work.
Things cannot always go your way, whenever she passionately opposes you about anything, concede and take a step back, women are usually stubborn when they are convinced they are right. The struggles we are going through now to provide for our family must culminate into a happy retirement with our spouse, to create an enabling environment for that to happen painful sacrifices must be made, nothing good comes easy.
No two marriages are the same, what works with your friend may not work in your own marriage. The effort to make the marriage work must be conscious and targeted. It doesn’t necessarily have to come from both the husband and wife; from my experience, it takes just one person who is sincerely yearning for peace to make it work – Sir Stanley Ekezie